The last day

I'm typing this at Eliza house on her laptop. Just wanted to write some stuff.

Today is the last day of 2009. I do not really know what to say about it. I have not created my New Year Resolutions which I probably won't. I don't expect much of myself so there is nothing much to say. I just need to see a miracle within myself. Ill be fine with it.

While waiting for Eliza to wake up, I'm now watching videos on Youtube. The internet connection is really slow. I want to watch Tensai Shimura Dobutsuen but it just won't load T-T. I decided to give up on it and continue to watch random videos on Youtube. I started with Arashi fanvideos then it became Sakurai Sho fanvideos now I'm just watching him while thinking. It's piercing my heart again. The heartbeat that just won't stop rushing. I'm useless when it comes to him.

I took a big step this year. I could have turn back but no I didn't. If he knew he would be disappointed. So I decided to move forward. I knew what I was going to expect but at the end of all this he will just tell me, "It's okay. It's the end already." 感觉自己好像于一,对于爱情是永远的白痴。从来要求就不多的我们,最后被伤害的还是我们. I am urging to want to know how he feel.


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