A mix of feelings

I loved you so much before, yet i didn't expect things to get out of hand. All I can say i sorry. I should have just accepted what is in front of me...that you only see me as a friend. I miss the old times. The times we call each other just to drain our batteries. Then i did that to you, everything became complicated. In my head, i only know you see me as a friend and i will only be a friend to you. I was stupid then, on denial. But now i accepted them, i am your friend and forever will be. I want to go back to those time little sis, can we? Can you give me another chance? You were right, it was better that we remain like that...it took me a while but i finally learn to move on.

Adapted from Fan & Idol Entry @ Aibakaland

Standing in Khaye view, the word before would really hurt me a lot. The moment i flew to japan just to clear things up, telling him that i love him and it was not only his one sided love and me treating him not as a oniichan but a lover, one you would trust so much yet he said 'before' and not 'now'
But, just hearing you change because of me can put a smile on my face. Change for the better, not dating girls and changing them from one to and another in a matter of months. Fighting less with your manager, stop going home wasted. If he only could dump that girl.

As you read the fic, your emotions started moving along with it. You get high with it, cry with it, don't mind staying up the whole night just waiting a updated chapter and after reading then peacefully go to sleep. It has become your daily dosage of medicine.

Emotions & memories start piling up.
I was sad when you told me you won't be here. It's such a important date for me, a day that can only be celebrated once a year. I didnt blame you, i shouldnt even blame you for what happen. You wanted to stay beside me but i wanted to you to go. Just because of me, you can't just give up going to this place you really want to go. If me asking you to stay, i would have really shattered your dream. So, just go, go peacefully.



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